Monthly Archives: December 2018

Good, Bad, or Useful? Look at your Life …

Is it mankind’s greatest mistake, to believe in the advertising mantra: ‘I have these things, therefore I am?’ To have many things, equates to nothing really, if you don’t have Self. Self respect, self knowledge, self actualisation, self belief …

As a person dealing with a few challenges in life, as many do also, I know, that things can quite easily change from good to woeful, sometimes. Illness, abuse, disrespect, financial troubles, they can pile up and up until it seems nothing can ever make things go well again. My previous blog post on this blog was this one, where I was touching on the concept of thinking deep things. I suspect this blog post here is even deeper than that previous one.

If you give in and do nothing things won’t change. But if you try things out, as they come along, changes of different kinds are much more likely happen. You need tools though, if you are going to make good and lasting changes. Family and friends who truly care about you, that’s the best tool. These are the ones who you have to trust, and believe. They may be watching you as you destroy yourself, as you hold, perhaps, to toxic people who don’t really love you at all.

If you’re wondering about these things, and whether you life could be better, this could be a useful first step:
Make a list of the people in your life, family, friends, and others. Mark each person as Good Bad or Useful
Then write up all of the Good people, the Bad Ones and the Useful.

Some of the people can be in more than one list, if so, write a short note about when they are in each list. For example you may put down a workmate who has been fun to be with, but who is also competing for the same jobs you are … write it down.

Then go through your lists again and this time, list the ways each person is in that group. You may realise a person in your ‘good’ list actually has more ‘bad’ things … you have to think carefully, and weigh it all up.

Fun to be with, but never pays their way, leaving you happy for one night, but unable to pay your rent? You have to think about it, and think hard, looking at what is in your own best interests. I hope you realise which list they should go in.

You may know others who are not much fun at all, really, but they are dependable, and will be there if you need them. These are people to cherish, get to know then better, learn what they enjoy doing, you may be surprised, and find they become real friends, in the good times, not just the bad times.

Think about your Self. Who are the ones who care about who you really are. Who can help you understand how to attain the deeper things that may be there for you? Who might show you ways to make yourself proud first, so others can see that, and realise you are worthy of respect …

If there are toxic people in your Bad list, they may not like the new you, but hopefully, you will have people in your Good or Useful lists to help you cut out the toxic ones, and move away from them.

There are organisations to help in some ways too, explore them, add them to your Useful list, or even you Good list, if you can make good connection with them. Community groups, service groups, medical people, these can go in your good or useful lists.

If there are organisations from your past that lead you down bad paths, add them to the Bad list too. There may be a venue where things have shallow appeal, but with bad results, such as hotels where toxic others hang out, or gambling establishments where you have lost much needed money. Add them all to your Bad list.

Doing thing like this, from time to time, when things seem headed in bad directions, they can help, certainly as a starting point. If you get help from others, these notes
can be invaluable resources to share with you helpers, who will be ‘in the loop’ and understand your situation better, and so be able to better target their assistance.

I believe it’s people, not things, that are the most important. I’d love to know what you think about this.

Thinking Deep Things …

I’m not really thinking deep things, not completely. It’s more like considering the thought of thinking deep things, then getting distracted, and thinking a variety of trivial things instead. Sometimes deep thoughts may poke their heads up, but then along comes a photo of a puppy or kitten, and I’m off with the trivial again!

Is that a bad thing though? I don’t think so, not really. I make sure the important things get done, by me or by somebody else. Bills get paid, plants get watered, Missy (our dog) gets fed and let out for toilet breaks. Clothes get washed, dried and put away too, sometimes by my husband, sometimes by me. 

Well, actually, the putting way of clothes is definitely my job, as heavy work in the garden is definitely my husband’s job. We’ve been working at sorting these things out over the many years of our marriage, and I think we’re doing a good job of it. We both know I have some issues from my chronic illness of Multiple Sclerosis, but we also both know I am capable of some things.

How many things though is something only I know, at the time. I may think in the morning I can do something, then the time for it comes, and fatigue has hit me. I don’t know when that will happen, but I do know some of the things that may bring on fatigue. I work hard at limiting those things, which leads to a much better life for me, and for everyone!

Stress is a major cause of fatigue, and hot, humid weather can cause it too. Today is hot and humid, but I have the air conditioner on, and I’m being careful to keep inside as much as possible. The dog doesn’t like hot weather either, so her toilet breaks are refreshingly fast!

I have been working on something involving thinking today too though. One of my volunteer jobs is to put together a newsletter for my local town, the Mallala Crossroad Chronicle. It comes out monthly, and I have to get it finished and sent off to be printed tomorrow, so it’s ready to be distributed before the Christmas break. I’m pleased with how this newsletter is looking so far, and I certainly expect it will be all done before close of business today.

So some deep non-trivial thinking has certainly been happening today on my part. I have consulted with providers of material for the December issue, I have placed various things in various places in the newsletter. Some of it is fun, some serious. I am very proud of this newsletter, and I know others in the Mallala community appreciate getting it to read, once a month!

I’ve also had some random thoughts on religion, politics, the weather and climate change, and grief. Only the weather made it into the Newsletter, the other things were for my own ‘amusement’. If you are interested, the Mallala has its own Facebook page here, where you can look at each issue of the Mallala Crossroad Chronicle in glorious colour (the copies I deliver around the place are in black and white).

Mindfulness Meditation

I look at the way my life is flowing along nicely, and I am glad. Things happen, necessary things. Some of them happen because of me, some because of others. Bills paid, groceries purchased, we eat well and live comparatively well.

Illness is always there in our lives, in our household, even our dog has a chronic illness that requires treatment, including tablets twice a day! But the tablets are also purchased, Missy takes the (disguised) half tablet when given to her, and she allows to have her eyes treated with her medicated gel.

Missy is almost mindful sometimes, although other times she gets very loud and excited. There was a cat close by this morning. I could hear Missy barking, but I knew my husband was outside and he would deal with whatever it was. I felt calm, but interested to kjnow what the uproar was about. It was the same cat that’s been around before. Missy couldn’t get to it, the cat left, and all became calm again.

At the moment, Missy is lying down in the next room waiting for my husband to get home again. I’ll let her out again in a few minutes, she’ll go out, pee, possibly roll around on the grass then lie down on it. She loves rolling around on the grass, and I wish I could see into her head and know exactly how it feels for her – it looks like it must be something very special, the way she gets into it … It looks like some blissful thing indeed!

She’s lying down with her head toward the door at the moment – Is she being mindful? Or is she possible meditating? I will never know, but I am a writer, so I can imagine, and make up stories about how it may be for her, or for another, possibly imaginary dog. I’ve written three books about a dog, a made up dog, named Buster the Dog. These books were fun to write. In the books, I pretend I am Buster the Dog. The first book was about Gardening, the second about Mindfulness, and the third was about the Dog Buddha.

I felt very happy writing these books, and getting the illustrations from a clever friend. The books have more than paid for themselves financially, and also have given me and other people much fun and happiness with my words. I like making other people smile, and even sometimes laugh. If I can keep on doing that with my words, what a glorious life that will be. 

I try to be mindful, I think on things and then react, most of the time. Sitting at peace, outside, at one with Nature there for me, the grassed backyard, the trees, birds, the sky with clouds, or sun. The world is all there, waiting for me to do the things I need and want to do, good things, good times … My mind is at peace sitting outside, or even where I am right now, on the sofa, window to my left, where I can see different trees, and birds who come along for a drink from the bird baths our there. 

Life surely is good. I always work to remember that, and remember that every bit of good I can do, will add to the greater good for all. A fine thought, surely – one I’d like everyone to take up and think on, and do, as well.